I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
