yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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