Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
being pregnant is like rehab
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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