My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
