How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
