It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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