yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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