idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
