How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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