So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
