hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
