the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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