don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
