I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
