its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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