I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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