kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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