I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
