I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
