the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
