The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
