HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
