You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
