Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Enjoy the penises
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
