May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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