I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
