Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
