bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize