it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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