Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
