I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
