Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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