She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
