i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
