The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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