just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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