Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
