Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
