One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
