We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
