Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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