I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Its about making memories worth repressing
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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