I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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