What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
