I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
