Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
