I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize