Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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