i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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