the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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