Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize