I can tuck mytits in my pants
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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