Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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