Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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