How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
