he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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