you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
