Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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