Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize