I am puke
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Congratulations! We have a period
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
