So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
