It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We're too hungover to prance.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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