we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
