So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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