I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
