i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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