you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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