Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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