just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
