Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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