She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
